Throwback Thursday - Vintage Travel Inspired Bridal Shower

#tbt May 2013 Bridal Shower

Bridal showers are a great way to incorporate the couple-to-be's personality, style and hobbies. For this particular couple, their style can be describes as 40's-60s vintage / mid century modern, a sort of  nostalgic Americana. They love to travel. So what better theme then Vintage Travel for their bridal shower?

 The invitations were a mirror image of airplane boarding passes.

 

 The favors included travel shampoo with personalized stickers as well as peanut snacks!

 

 

For one of the games, guests were asked to write a memory on postcards and to not sign their name. The bride read the memory aloud and had to guess which guest wrote them.

 

 

Décor Included vintage maps and trunks, potted succulents in coffee cans as well as luggage tags.

 

The lovely bride to be.

 

 

Wedding Etiquette Wednesday - Marriage License: Government Legalities

 

 

Some states require a blood test, counseling and witnesses for a marriage to be legal while others may not require any of these things. It is important that you understand the requirements in your city and state to ensure that when you have a wedding, that you actually get married! As long as you do the research ahead of time, you should be okay to proceed with the wedding. Here are some things to think about:

 

Age - Age restrictions are different from state to state. You will likely be required to show proof of your age using your birth certificate, baptismal record, passport, driver’s license, just to name a few.

 

Family restriction – In the United States, marriage is not allowed between the following:

• Ancestor and descendant (parent, grandparent, great-grandparent, child, grandchild, great-grandchild)
• Brother and sister (full or half)
• Uncle and niece
• Aunt and nephew

Capacity to consent – both parties must consent to be married. If someone does not understand the meaning of marriage because of alcohol, drugs, mental illness or other factors affecting judgment, then the marriage is not valid. It is also invalid if fraud or coercion is involved.

 

Gender – Always a hot topic for a lot of people, but couples of the same sex should check with their local laws to find out if a marriage is considered legal where they reside.

 

Remarriage – Anyone who has been married before must provide ORIGINAL DOCUMENTS or CERTIFIED COPIES of a documentation regarding previous marriages. This includes Decree of Divorce, Death Certificates and certificate of Dissolution of Marriage. This should be done long before the wedding is planned because one missing document can cause delays.

 

Health certificates – some states will require that you get a health certificate before getting married to ensure that your partner knows of any pre-existing conditions while some states do not. However, even in states that do not require blood tests or physical exams, your marriage can be invalid if you fail to inform your spouse that you have a venereal disease or impotence / infertility.

 

If you are unsure of what your state requires, the best place to check is with the county clerk’s office or the office of registrar OR your wedding planner should be able to help!

 

 

 

 

 

Peggy Post. Wedding Etiquette: The Definitive Guide to Your Wedding Experience (New York: HarperCollins Publishers Inc., 2006), 258-259.Photo from: http://www.perfectweddingpics.com/smokymountainwedding/tennessee-marriage-license/

Wedding Etiquette Wednesday - Wedding Day Toasts

 

Can you believe he said that?!

 

Who wouldn't be mortified if that was the best man toast at their wedding? Wedding toasts are a cherished tradition, but a bad toast can be bad news for any wedding! Make sure you are aware of some of these do's and don'ts , or rather the who, what, when and how of wedding toasts.

• Who?

- gives a toast: Traditionally, the best man starts off with the first toast followed by both father's who welcome the guests. Lastly is the maid/matron of honor toast. It is okay to have other members of the wedding party toast, however, beware as too many speeches can bore your guests. 

• What?

- to drink: the customary toasting beverage is champagne. If you are not a fan  of the dry-super bubbles, try a dessert wine instead like a moscato d'asti. Not an alcohol drinker? Not a problem, try a sparkling cider like Martinelli's.

 

- to say: A short story or funny anecdote is okay. The best speeches I have heard are the ones that have a little bit of humor, followed by some sentiment, followed by some advice and congratulations for the newlyweds.

 

- not to say: if the couple has broken up in the past, do not bring it up during the wedding. It's just rude! Do not say "we were not sure you would ever get married" to a new bride or groom. And leave out the memories best left forgotten. We've all had those memories that should not be shared with everyone a bride or groom knows. If you aren't sure that they will appreciate it, leave it out. Just remember, this is a time for happy memories, don't bring the couple down.

• How?

- long should it be: SHORT AND SWEET. The most important thing is to keep your speech heartfelt. Keeping the speech to an average of 3-5 minutes max is ideal because if it is less, it might seem as though you were not prepared but if it is longer, people will stop listening. Let's face it, no one wants to listen to a 10 minute speech, there is dancing and dinner to be had.

 

These tips are important for both the hosts and attendants. For toaster's, they will ensure you do not embarrass yourself or offend the couple. For the couple, this will ensure all can participate in the toast and that your guests don't fall asleep...happy toasting!

Wedding Etiquette Wednesday - Gift's For the Couple

'gift /noun/

     : something voluntarily transferred by one person to another without compensation.

 

Key word being voluntary which means no one is entitled to a gift. That being said, gift giving for weddings is customarily expected. It is important to understand where the tradition of giving gifts actually came from. In ancient cultures, couples were provided gifts to begin their new home and to prepare to start a family. While traditionally the gifts were symbols of fidelity, fertility and prosperity, today they remain a physical representation of love and support and the giver's happiness for the new couple. Understanding etiquette in regards to wedding gifts will undoubtedly heighten your appreciation of the gift and giver.

• Is a wedding gift expected? Following tradition, whether you attend the wedding or not, everyone who receives a wedding invitation should send a gift.
• How much should guests spend on gifts? True or false: Guests should spend the same amount on their gift that the hosts spend per head at the reception. FALSE. This expectation is thoughtless and impractical. Guests should base their gifts on their financial capabilities and their affection for the couple.
• When and how are gifts sent? Gifts can be given starting from as soon as the invitation arrives to the wedding day itself. They can be given to the couple or sent directly from the store to the couple's house. Gifts should not be sent to the couple after the wedding unless there are extenuating circumstances such as illness.
• What is done with gifts if the wedding is cancelled? All gifts received should be returned to the giver including monetary ones. Exceptions can include items already used or monogrammed items.
• When can gifts be exchanged or returned? Duplicate gifts should be discreetly exchanged. If you receive something neither liked or needed, you may exchange it but be mindful of hurting feelings of close friends or family. Also, if a gift is returned or exchanged, it is not necessary to explain this to the giver. They should still receive a thank you card with enthusiasm.

 

Now that you understand the etiquette related to wedding gifts, not only will you be ready for that childhood thrill when you start receiving wedding gifts, but you will experience more fun and appreciation at the same time!

 

 

 

References: Peggy Post. Wedding Etiquette: The Definitive Guide to Your Wedding Experience (New York: HarperCollins Publishers Inc., 2006), 258-259.

Photo from Http://www.lillyanlou.blogspot.com

Merrium-Webster Online

Wedding Etiquette Wednesday - Wedding Attire: Bridesmaids

You want me to wear THAT?!

 

Remember that scene at the end of the movie 27 Dresses when Jane, played by Katherine Heigel finally gets married and she has 27 attendants wearing all the dresses she had to wear as a bridesmaid? What if every new bride made their attendants wear these crazy outfits?

 

It is not unrealistic for a bride to want everything to be perfect on her wedding day, however, some may go a little overboard with their demands that can be a little bit out of the norm. It is important for every bride to remember some of these important things when deciding on bridesmaids’ attire…

 

Cost – Traditionally, attendants pay for their own dresses and accessories

• Brides should take careful consideration when choosing bridesmaid attire. If a bridesmaid expresses that her budget is limited, the bride has a couple options. 1) Choose less expensive dresses 2) Purchase dresses for attendants as their gift. Just note that this will take a portion of the budget
• If a bridesmaid is on a strict budget and cannot afford to purchase wedding attire, she should be honest with the bride and explain that even though she is honored to be chosen as a bridesmaid, it is just not possible financially
• In the past, dresses would only be worn once. Now, brides are starting to choose dresses that can be worn for other occasions.

 

What is appropriate? – No matter what style of dress is chosen, it should complement the bride’s dress.

• Formality – At a formal wedding, generally the attendants dresses are floor length along with the bride’s but for less formal, they can be shorter
• Fabric – the fabric need not be the same. If the bride’s dress is satin, the attendants should be in a similar fabric, not linen or organdy.
• Color – today, virtually all colors are appropriate for weddings including black and some shades of white (guests should never wear white)

 

Shape – Diversity. It’s what makes the world go round. We are all shapes and sizes. The same style dress might not look as flattering on one bridesmaid as the next. Modern brides can consider choosing different dresses with guidelines for fabric, length, color and formality.

 

So bridesmaids - why did Jane wear all those dresses? I don’t think it was because she was waiting for the day to make everyone else wear them. She knew it was the bride’s day and wanted to make her happy. And for the bride - when you are considering your bridesmaid dress choices, just think if you had to wear it. Would you?

 

 

 

Peggy Post. Wedding Etiquette: The Definitive Guide to Your Wedding Experience (New York: HarperCollins Publishers Inc., 2006), 258-259.

Wedding Etiquette Wednesday - Guest Etiquette

Welcome to our first blog post. Each Wednesday, there will be a post on a different aspect of a wedding in regards to etiquette. Inspired by Peggy Post, author of Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette: The Definitive Guide to Your Wedding Experience, these posts will be mainly of opinion between different wedding sources and should be taken as such. Many probably do not even realize that there are books on wedding etiquette. Well, here you have it...

 

This week’s post is all about etiquette for guests who are invited to be a part of a wedding celebration. You are probably saying…"wait, I am a guest! I don’t have any responsibilities except to have fun…” I hate to break it to you, but that is not entirely accurate. While a host is obligated to make a guest feel welcome and appreciated, guests have an obligation to display thoughtful behavior and manners to their host(s). Here are some things to think about when you are invited to your next wedding.

• RSVP Immediately – the acronym RSVP comes from the French expression “répondez s’il vous plaît” meaning “please respond.” This is your most important role as a guest because it directly affects the budget of the celebration. The sooner the hosts have the total guest count, the sooner they can commence planning the festivities.

• Do Not Ask to Bring a Guest – If the host was able to accommodate an additional guest, they would have invited one. It is impolite for you to ask if you can bring a date. If the celebration is regarded as an adult only event, you should also not ask or expect to be able to invite children.

• Be on Your Best Behavior – Guests are responsible for acting with decency and civility. Such behavior is exhibited as follows:
  • Do Not talk during the ceremony and place cell phones on silent
  • Do Not move tables or switch place cards
  • Be mindful of paid vendor’s with camera and / or video equipment when using personal or cell phone cameras
  • Unless encouraged to do so, do not take any décor, food, flowers or centerpieces – this costs the host money! 

• Give a gift – Invited guests should send a gift regardless if they are attending or not. An exception can be made if the guest has only received an announcement or if they haven’t seen or spoken to the host in several years.

 

Weddings take a lot of time and money and it’s only expected that there should be some care and attention from all parties involved. Whether it’s hosts, attendants, family members or guests alike.