Wedding Etiquette Wednesday - Marriage License: Government Legalities

 

 

Some states require a blood test, counseling and witnesses for a marriage to be legal while others may not require any of these things. It is important that you understand the requirements in your city and state to ensure that when you have a wedding, that you actually get married! As long as you do the research ahead of time, you should be okay to proceed with the wedding. Here are some things to think about:

 

Age - Age restrictions are different from state to state. You will likely be required to show proof of your age using your birth certificate, baptismal record, passport, driver’s license, just to name a few.

 

Family restriction – In the United States, marriage is not allowed between the following:

• Ancestor and descendant (parent, grandparent, great-grandparent, child, grandchild, great-grandchild)
• Brother and sister (full or half)
• Uncle and niece
• Aunt and nephew

Capacity to consent – both parties must consent to be married. If someone does not understand the meaning of marriage because of alcohol, drugs, mental illness or other factors affecting judgment, then the marriage is not valid. It is also invalid if fraud or coercion is involved.

 

Gender – Always a hot topic for a lot of people, but couples of the same sex should check with their local laws to find out if a marriage is considered legal where they reside.

 

Remarriage – Anyone who has been married before must provide ORIGINAL DOCUMENTS or CERTIFIED COPIES of a documentation regarding previous marriages. This includes Decree of Divorce, Death Certificates and certificate of Dissolution of Marriage. This should be done long before the wedding is planned because one missing document can cause delays.

 

Health certificates – some states will require that you get a health certificate before getting married to ensure that your partner knows of any pre-existing conditions while some states do not. However, even in states that do not require blood tests or physical exams, your marriage can be invalid if you fail to inform your spouse that you have a venereal disease or impotence / infertility.

 

If you are unsure of what your state requires, the best place to check is with the county clerk’s office or the office of registrar OR your wedding planner should be able to help!

 

 

 

 

 

Peggy Post. Wedding Etiquette: The Definitive Guide to Your Wedding Experience (New York: HarperCollins Publishers Inc., 2006), 258-259.Photo from: http://www.perfectweddingpics.com/smokymountainwedding/tennessee-marriage-license/

Wedding Etiquette Wednesday - Wedding Day Toasts

 

Can you believe he said that?!

 

Who wouldn't be mortified if that was the best man toast at their wedding? Wedding toasts are a cherished tradition, but a bad toast can be bad news for any wedding! Make sure you are aware of some of these do's and don'ts , or rather the who, what, when and how of wedding toasts.

• Who?

- gives a toast: Traditionally, the best man starts off with the first toast followed by both father's who welcome the guests. Lastly is the maid/matron of honor toast. It is okay to have other members of the wedding party toast, however, beware as too many speeches can bore your guests. 

• What?

- to drink: the customary toasting beverage is champagne. If you are not a fan  of the dry-super bubbles, try a dessert wine instead like a moscato d'asti. Not an alcohol drinker? Not a problem, try a sparkling cider like Martinelli's.

 

- to say: A short story or funny anecdote is okay. The best speeches I have heard are the ones that have a little bit of humor, followed by some sentiment, followed by some advice and congratulations for the newlyweds.

 

- not to say: if the couple has broken up in the past, do not bring it up during the wedding. It's just rude! Do not say "we were not sure you would ever get married" to a new bride or groom. And leave out the memories best left forgotten. We've all had those memories that should not be shared with everyone a bride or groom knows. If you aren't sure that they will appreciate it, leave it out. Just remember, this is a time for happy memories, don't bring the couple down.

• How?

- long should it be: SHORT AND SWEET. The most important thing is to keep your speech heartfelt. Keeping the speech to an average of 3-5 minutes max is ideal because if it is less, it might seem as though you were not prepared but if it is longer, people will stop listening. Let's face it, no one wants to listen to a 10 minute speech, there is dancing and dinner to be had.

 

These tips are important for both the hosts and attendants. For toaster's, they will ensure you do not embarrass yourself or offend the couple. For the couple, this will ensure all can participate in the toast and that your guests don't fall asleep...happy toasting!